It's all Holli's fault!

That's right! You heard me! She made me do it! Well, not really. The truth is she inspired me to start blogging. Her blog is soooooo great! I feel like I'm there with her through it all! That's quite a feat considering how far apart we are. Holli is my sister, in case you were wondering. She's the writer in my family. She's not the only one, there are others. She just happens to be famous for it. She's not just lucky, she's actually quite talented and it's no wonder she was finally noticed for it. Anyway, it was Holli who suggested that I start a blog. She felt it would be a great way to deal with tons of bed rest. I guess I'm finally lonely and bored enough to decide that my meager thoughts would be worth sharing. I'd have to be nuts to think I could be half the blogger Holli is, though. Thank goodness this isn't a competition. The truth is this is way cheaper than calling everyone in my family every five minutes when I have nothing else to do but gripe about my situation. I do have a family here with me. They do talk with me but they're going through this, too and don't really want to hear all my bellyaching (no pun intended). You must be dying to know what the heck is going on over here! Well I'll tell you. I have a nearly perfect life. Yep, that's right I said perfect! I have a WONDERFUL husband! The absolute best in the world. I'm not kidding, he's perfect. He does dishes, laundry, diapers, baths, bills, toilets, works and anything else I ask him to do (more than I should). All this is done with a great attitude and never a complaint. He's amazing. He absolutely loves me no matter how hormonal I get. I also have four amazing kids. They're all beautiful and brilliant. I'll share more about them later. We live in an idyllic community. We have everything you could want and virtually none of what you don't want. Unfortunately we live no where near any extended family members. One small blot on an otherwise perfect situation. To get to the point, I live a happy, generally satisfied life that keeps me plenty busy. For these reasons, we were "done" growing our family. I had an IUD placed about 2 years ago. A birth control method purported to be 99.99% effective. Two years into it, pregnancies seemed a thing of the past. I was focusing on my children, my health and our family's future. With my youngest going into preschool next fall, I was even considering going back to school (never quite finished college). Life was good. I had lost 12 lbs. My 8yr. old was recently baptized. I'd been visited in the last 4 months by dear relatives. All was quite well. Then this funny thing happened. I had the weirdest period of my life! (OK. it's gonna get personal and maybe even gross here. Not for the squeamish. Sorry.) It was light, very light and brown. It was right on time though and I kept telling myself the normal flow will happen any time now. Seven days later, I decided it was time to check for the string (it sticks out of the cervix and can be checked periodically to see if things seem the same and help you decide if a visit to the doc or alternative birth control should be used). I had my husband check (I know TMI!) but he couldn't find it! Honestly, I thought he just wasn't trying hard enough, he was very tired. I said, I'll just check myself in the morning and I'll find it and everything will be fine. Guess what, I COULDN'T FIND THE DARNED THING EITHER!!!! UGHHH!!!!! I knew this meant that I'd have to find a Gynecologist and get my IUD repositioned or something. Surely this was the cause of my weird period. The day I couldn't find it happened to be Sunday (last Sunday). At church I asked around for advice on a local Gyne doc (I'm new in this area and it's a small, remote town. . . not much locally to choose from and I knew going out of town would be a hassle). One of the friends I asked suggested I take a pregnancy test before going in. I thought NO WAY!! It couldn't possibly be! Not now! Anyway, her advice made sense considering I thought I was dealing with an IUD that had gone AWOL. I waited until an hour after church. My husband tore the house up looking for the old test we had left over from our last pregnancy scare. It wasn't expired or anything so we used it. My goodness, I've never seen a more enthusiastic little blue plus sign! It screamed positive long before the control even had a chance to get wet!!! What a complete shock!!! I couldn't believe it!!! Hadn't we been so sure? Hadn't we felt so confident that we'd made the right decision and Heavenly Father was on board? It was completely overwhelming to say the least. I was in such denial! Suddenly all the signs of the past few months made sense. I'd been so completely exhausted for months. A kind of fatigue I've only ever experienced during pregnancy. I had told myself that I was just tired from my lifestyle change and sudden healthy eating. Less caloric intake means less energy at first right? See, that was the other sign I'd missed. Fatty foods had suddenly become repulsive to me. I couldn't eat pizza without feeling sick. I'd nearly completely switched to fish, fruits, veggies, nuts, granola, etc. Obviously this baby is a health food nut! Anyway the shock quickly gave way to excitement. If you knew us well you'd know just how completely planned our lives are. We control everything we possibly can control. I know, it's a bit neurotic but it seems to work for our little "krew" to be scheduled and planned. This was far from in the plan. No room in our kid's rooms for another bed, no maternity coverage in our medical insurance, no fat cash stored up, no baby gear left, etc, etc. This was absolutely a blessing from God to us and it had to come in the form of a miracle to get past our neurotic need to plan everything. All of our concerns about what we'd do with another "krew" member were answered by noticing the ways in which the Lord had prepared us for this. Five months ago we lived in an extremely remote area with very poor access to medical care. No way would having a baby be an easy thing to do there! Now we live five minutes from a small but quite well-reputed and capable hospital with all the necessary staff to welcome an new life into the world. A month ago we had two vehicles. One that only five of our six "krew"members could ride in and another the six of us could go together in but not very comfortably. For some reason, (could it be inspiration?!) we had the sudden desire to trade the two in for one that was much roomier, (seats 8!) and coincidentally less expensive. In the process of moving here five months ago, my husband more than doubled our income. Though our debts keep our budget and lifestyle humble, there would be room to squeeze medical bills into the mix (that means it'll take 24 months instead of 12 to get totally out of debt - bummer but not a terrible trade off). Yep, Someone was definitely looking out for us. OK, so we've somewhat accepted the reality that we would be having another baby. We'd even gone so far as to accept that it had been planned for, though not by us. OK, things would be OK. It would all be OK. It would explain my fatigue and stubborn poochie belly despite weight loss everywhere else. We can do this. THAT'S WHEN IT HIT US!!!! Wait a minute! I'm having a PERIOD!!!???!!! Something was definitely wrong. It can't be good to have a baby and an IUD sharing the same cramped space. Should we panic? Perhaps not. But almost as soon as we wrapped our minds around the idea of another beautiful baby (how very quickly we do get attached!), the extreme fear hits. Being afraid for the life of one of your children is the absolute worst feeling in the world. This goes beyond my usual mother hen issues. I am extremely protective of my other four "babies" and never quite let go of concern for their safety and well being. They've been through some stuff, too, that has made me loose sleep. All that pales in comparison to what I now feel for this baby. This little miracle can't be sent to me and then suddenly taken away! Surely not! So, I did what I usually do when I'm freaking out about one of my kids. I called my sister, Laurie. She's the best big sister a gal could have. She always has the best advice and manages to calm me down and steer me straight in the right direction. She said to call a hospital and talk to an OB nurse. I did and got the advice to go see a OB/GYN asap! I was told not to worry about brown "spotting" as we're now calling it (not just a weird period!). I should worry about heavy bleeding and go into the ER for that or bad cramping. OK, it sounded like I could deal with this. I'm just spotting. They can do something about the IUD tomorrow at the doctor's office. No problem. Guess what? It became a problem! Sunday night between 6 and 7 I filled a pad (I know, TMI!). Time to go to the ER. We called in the troops (RS President) and got a quick sitter for our four other kids and headed out. The hospital was a very surreal experience. It's very sobering to fill out papers and tell a completely uninterested, unsympathetic paper pusher why you're here adding to his work load. The nurse wasn't bad (a guy) and the experience was very emotionally charged but we did find out a lot. The blood test confirmed pregnancy and predicted fetal age at 10-12 weeks. The ultrasound revealed a very much alive and wiggly 8-week-old baby (so adorable!), an 8 cm cyst on my left ovary and a perfectly positioned (YEP IT WAS IN THE RIGHT PLACE!!) IUD. The bleeding was coming from a spot near the fetal sack where the IUD was scratching it. Talk about Freaky!!! I was shocked!!! I felt like one wrong move and I'd impale the fetal sack!!! The pelvic exam (yeah I know, TMI!!!) couldn't confirm the presence of the string. We called a friend for a priesthood blessing. After the blessing, I was able to calm down and felt a sense of peace that the Lord had things under control. I was released and referred to the local clinic the next day for a more experienced opinion as to what we should do about all this bleeding (it had slowed down by now). I was put on "pelvic rest". No lifting, No straining, No sex! (I know, I know TMI!!! Not that he was even interested after what was happening and we were both freaking out about this naughty IUD so close to our babies life sack. Let's face it, that's what got us in this mess in the first place.) I was to go to bed during any bleeding and basically do nothing until I see an OB. What a night!!! What a roller coaster of emotions! The rest of the story isn't so dramatic. The next day, I took my kids to a friends house so I could see the doctor and rest (I hadn't slept much that night and ended up calling Laurie and Mom quite early). The general practitioner who sometimes does OB (our local OB was apparently on vacation this week) worked me in to her schedule. She did a pelvic (I KNOW! TMI!) and found the string but couldn't get it to budge. (We'd researched it by this time and knew that getting the IUD out, though scary was the best thing to ensure an uncomplicated pregnancy and in fact lowered the risk of miscarriage by 20%-30%. That is if the baby survives the trauma of having something so close to it wiggled and pulled on.) I was to continue on my semi-bed rest until the following Monday when I could be seen by the specialist (the vacationing OB). So. . . . I wait. I try to digest the fact that I can do virtually nothing. I try to explain to my kids why they suddenly have to rely on themselves and each other for their daily constant needs. My kids are smart and old enough to do most everything for themselves and each other. They just aren't used to having to do it. I'm not used to having to make them do it. I feel like, for the sake of saving my baby's life, I have to neglect her siblings. (Yeah, I think it's a girl . . . I've been calling her Emily. . . it seems to help make this all more real.) It all is just so very shocking! My husband's reaction has been to become even more superhuman in is help and attentiveness in addition to working his fingers to the bone trying to earn enough dollars to pay for all this. (He gets paid based on productivity.) He's exhausted, my beautiful kids are all whiny, my house is trashed, I feel lonely and scared and completely sick of laying around (oh yeah, I don't just have to lay around, I also have to lay around only on my left side! The bleeding is quite red and profuse if I lay on my right, almost nothing and brownish if I lay on my left. Weird! Not to comfortable either. . . I'm a rightie!). I feel like to save my baby, I have to consider myself a stationery incubator. I'm plugged to the couch or the bed with an occasional trip to the loo and some grub. I guess that's why my other great-advice-giving sister Holli, suggested I blog. What a great way to get it all out of my head and out in front of me so I can digest it! Thanks a lot Holli! You were right. I do like this. Anyway, I've nearly made it to Monday. I've bled off and on all week. I've managed to get my kids to their various commitments on time. I'm reasonably sure that I'm still pregnant. It all hinges on what the OB says on Monday. She'll either get it out or not. If the IUD is out I can expect some bed rest until everything heals up (maybe a week?) and then a normal pregnancy assuming the IUD removal doesn't cause a miscarriage. If it's not out, I'll either have to continue as things are, on bed rest for as long as the pregnancy can last (Hopefully long enough to give Emily a chance to be born and have a normal life.), or I'll be referred out of town to a more specialized specialist. Not my favorite since I'd rather not be far from my "krew" and out of town means 2 to 3 hours away. I'll keep you updated as time goes on and my bed rest permits (to blog, my love seat is pushed up to the computer and I lean far to the left, straining my arms and neck to type and see the screen - perhaps this is a good time to get a lap top?) I've filled my time by reading pregnancy books (one of the only items surviving my "I'm Done!" clean out), and shopped online for a few maternity necessities (they may not give me leave to shop in person until I'm well past the clothes I can now fit into!). Well, my hero husband is about tired enough and I know he's dying to edit this for me so that's it for now! Wish me luck and any prayers are appreciated.