Kessie. . . where are you Kessie?

As you may or may not know, we have been wrestling with the idea of being done in the baby department. We've tossed around all the logical reasons why five children is perfect for us and why we don't need any more. We've considered many of the major forms of birth control out there. We've prayed, fasted and visited the temple to wrestle over the choice, our plan, etc. What answer did we get? CHILL OUT!!! Quit freaking out about it. . . it's in the Lord's hands. OK. Sounds great. We'll chill out. We use a reversible birth control. We aren't freaking out. . . All calm with the notion that no more babies are in our future unless the Lord says so. . .

So, what's with the Freudian slips? Ryan keeps miscounting our number. He keeps making little slips about our next baby. He's the one who's so absolutely done! Why is HE slipping??? That kind of thing can be annoying, it can make me start to think that I'm supposed to have another baby. Freaky enough on it's own.

So what the heck am I supposed to do with this next big weird baby slip????!!!!!

At prayer time last night, I asked if everyone was here. Westley (autistic, innocent and painfully honest) said, "No, we're missing someone. We're missing our sister, Kessie." What?!!?

SO totally cute. We all had a great laugh. The kids laughed because they thought it funny for him to make up someone who's clearly not here. The parents laughed in nervous discomfort at the very obvious poke at our choice to be done. Westley laughed too. He enjoyed accidentally making such a great joke and began adding to it, describing Kessie as a two headed being that was somehow both brother and sister. It was all quite hilarious and very surreal.

Today we find ourselves wondering about Kessie. Who is she? Is she meant to come and be part of our family? Are we supposed to go against all logic and plan another pregnancy? Are we making way too much of all these slips? Help! I'm freaking out!