Now What!!??

OK. So we're still digesting the whole Autism thing. We got our diagnosis. Yes, the GARS study they did to officially measure the likeliness of him having classic Autism came back something like 87% likely. I got the results back a week ago. With that, I began the application process for ALTECS and DDD. The two government organizations that provide both in home therapy and financing to support it. We are extremely unlikely to qualify for the financial stuff since Ryan makes good money. What I don't know is if they'll still come and help Westley if we don't qualify for financial assistance. Perhaps they will if we pay for it all. What I don't know is if we can truly afford the therapy he needs.

My interview or "intake" as they call it is scheduled for next Wednesday. One more hurtle to jump and hopefully therapy will soon follow. I'm so ready to move on to the treatment phase of this process! I am constantly reminded that West needs help. He's adorable and a lot of fun but definitely doesn't deal with life the way the rest of us do. He's difficult to manage when things don't go according to his plan. He doesn't quite understand when we try to reason with him. He's easily described as a one man circus. He's very animated and dynamic in both movement and sound. The only quiet times of the day for him are when he's eating (the actual eating part, not the performance he puts on during meal time!) or when he's watching TV (only if it's a show he loves, all others must be augmented with noises and motions). It's not hard to understand why he does what he does, it's just hard to live with and tolerate sometimes. I don't know to what degree therapy will improve all this. I just hope it helps him calm the inner wild man down enough to progress toward a normal future.

What about the bigger house bit from my last blog? Well, it was interesting to spend a week dreaming about all the possibilities. We even spent one weekend pretending that we had to show the house and get it in perfect condition! What we quickly learned is that now is definitely not the time to require ourselves to keep a perfect house. It was impossible! That alone convinced us not to move. The bank man said financially we could make it happen if the house we're in sold first. The real estate gal said the market was good here despite the national slump and our house value has gone up to a point that we could afford to sell. They both seemed to say go ahead and do it if you want to. We like that much at least. (Nothing worse that the bank man telling you you can't do what you want to do.) The reality of not being up to the task of showing the house and not being up to the task of packing up convinced us to re-think that whole idea. It's always more practical to find a way to make do with things as they are.

The new plan? Remodel! Equally difficult perhaps to remodel verses move but definitely cheaper and the timeline is more in our control. A close friend whose hobby it is to design houses, came over and measured everything and helped us put our ideas on paper. Our one car garage will become an awesome laundry room, a hallway mud room, a modest pantry and another bedroom. That bedroom will be used as our playroom. All toys in our possession will live in that room. It'll be put together in an Autistic friendly way. Lots of organization will make the room work. The hallway mud room will have cubbies and hooks for our coats and shoes, etc. That's where we'll put our family calendar and daily schedules. Our awesome laundry room will have a huge folding table and sorting cubbies. It'll provide storage for all household cleansers and the vacuum. The ceiling is tall so we'll also add storage shelves along the ceiling to hold our other storage for holiday decorating, etc. There'll be room to organize and store all the hand-me-down clothes. Oh, yeah, and laundry will get washed and dried there too. The pantry is ending up a lot smaller than I'd always hoped for but it'll still be a great space and with good organization, it'll hold quite a bit of food. The job has been pitched to the city hall gurus and we have a permit. The material cost is well within our budget even with all the other financial stuff going on right now. We'll do as much as we can ourselves and have a handyman friend who'll help with the rest. Ideally before baby comes, it'll all be done! Yea!

With all the toys removed from the kid's bedrooms, there'll be plenty of room for a crib in either. Ryan and I won't have to have a roomie!!! Yea!!! Of course at first baby will be in our room simply for practical reasons. I always like keeping a close watch on my newborns!

With these big things going on in our lives right now, everything else seems so very small. I find it hard for example to get excited or worried about teaching sharing time in primary or planning a craft for cub scout day camp. The fence repair is in desperate need of attention but I just don't care that much about putting it off.

We rented a large storage unit and have the garage mostly cleared out. Next we totally strip everything out there and get to work on putting it all back together.

Realizing we'll likely be limited in ability to pay a professional therapist for frequent visits, we're spending a little on a few resources of our own. We plan to sort of become therapist ourselves. I have found these great therapy companies on-line and over time we'll collect what we think West needs. With a better approach on our own I think we can make a big difference.

As we have a lot of changes happening right now (baby coming, remodel, transition to kindergarten for West, preschool starting for Laura, still adjusting to our move here in the first place), we aren't ready to radically change West's diet or try the various drug treatments out there. Once we get the remodel done, the fence repaired, the house organized, the baby here, school started again, we'll look at those options more closely. I have heard some amazing things about that diet and would like to see how it may help West. I simply don't have the energy to rethink how I feed my family right now. I'm doing good to get spaghetti 0s on the dinner table lately!

It all seems to be falling into place. I do feel that Heavenly Father has a plan for us that will work. I believe we're here for a reason. This is the place He meant for us to be. This is the place our children will grow up and this is the place we'll find the help they need. Baby has a strong spirit, I can feel it. I still think it's a girl but lately the possibility of a boy hasn't seemed all that foreign. The ultrasound to find out is a good two to three weeks away. The IUD isn't currently causing trouble though as baby grows, we may have issues come up. I feel good about it all and am grateful for second trimester hormones that have given me the energy to go through all this and have kept me from getting depressed about it all.

Generally, I think we'll make it through. It's the waiting and wondering that's a pain. Patience was much easier as a child! This grown up stuff isn't as glamorous as it seemed from my childhood perspective!