These are the ingredients in my emotion soup. They have been added at various times over the last 8 days.
I have been blessed to be visited by two sisters at the same time. That brought much joy and anticipation into my life. I love both of my sisters but sometimes feel disconnected being so very far away from them.
I appreciate their love and the service they are giving me by coming so far and doing so much. They may not realize what a blessing it has been to be distracted from my usual routine. The time has passed so very quickly.
It is a comfort to me that time and distance doesn't change everything. I find my sisters are still quite familiar to me. That comfort can share time with pain as I realize my relationships aren't always as mature or as healthy as I thought. It can be difficult to step back into an old role even for a short time.
Stepping into old roles for the sake of a relationship can bring a temporary peace. While that peace is nice, chaos follows quickly behind when peace is forced forward. The chaos comes when I realize I'm not being true to myself. The current me is then very upset with the old me that came out. This duality is chaos.
Fatigue is next. As the reality of it all comes dropping in, the inevitable clean up is exhausting. I am left with a fatigue that is unshakable. Time alone can heal it.
6 years ago
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