Gestational Diabetes!!!???!!!

You have got to be kidding me!!

I don't need one more thing to deal with!!!

UUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Like it or not, I have Gestational Diabetes. I found out today. It does explain my fatigue, excessive thirst and frequent urination. It explains why I don't feel good when I eat.

What this will mean for me and baby Benjamin? I don't think I fully understand it all yet.

They've ordered a meter for me so I can test my sugar. They've told me to cut out sugars and carbs until the meter comes in and I can meet with the Diabetic Councilor for orientation. No more ice cream and chocolate for me!

The potential complication lists reads like a horror novel:

For Mother. . . .
Hypertension, Preeclampsia, Increased risk for developing type 2 diabetes.

For Baby. . . .
Macrosomia (really big baby that may require cesarean delivery), Hypoglycemia (my excess sugars mess up baby's sugars and post delivery when the sugar source is gone the baby's sugars drop dramatically low), Jaundice, Low calcium and magnesium (muscle cramps and spasms treatable with supplementation), Respiratory Distress Syndrome (slow fetal lung development, breathing problems), Increased risk for childhood and adult obesity, Increased risk of type 2 diabetes later in life.

This is not something to play around with. I must get this under control now! I can't put my baby at risk for those things. If I get it under control, those complications will become less and less likely.

They will be watching me much more closely now; as if the IUD wasn't enough of a reason to watch things! They may not let me go full term. If Benji shows signs of distress, they may take him early. I'm glad they will be watching me closely. I do feel that I am in good hands with a good doctor. I am freaked out about all this and feel even more like my life is not in my control. I have to trust that there is some grand purpose in everything I am asked to go through.

I'm trying to be optimistic. I want to believe that if I get this under control that I will feel better. I look forward to less fatigue. I won't miss that "sugar high" feeling. I can definitely live without all that junk. My baby's health is worth every sacrifice. My health is worth every sacrifice.

What brought this on? Who knows!? My personal theory goes back to the time I was in the ICU with anaphalactic shock three years ago. They gave me such high doses of steroids that I became diabetic and had to take insulin for a number of months. I believe this gave my body a soft trigger for diabetes. Diabetes runs in my family. In the last few years, a number of relatives have been diagnosed with it. This will be my second brush with it. I hope it's not something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. My intent is to not take my chances. I plan to live like I have it now to avoid actually having it later.

As I learn more, it will become easier to deal with. For now, I think I'm allowed a little freak out.